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About Diana

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Family Stories

Originally published on A Way with Words blog

I was very excited to have Nancy Turner as one of my writing teachers. She wrote a novel based on early twentieth-century journals of one of her family members called These is My Words. Two subsequent novels continued the story, Sarah’s Quilt, and The Star GardenThese is My Words has been one of my favorite books since I first read it. It introduced the spunky woman, Sarah Prine to me. Through the years I’ve collected family stories also.

Family lore, oral tradition, is a way of connecting generations and a treasure chest for writers to plunder for story ideas. One such legend is of my great grandmother, Nellie Mae, who as a child traveled with her nearly blind father from Nebraska to Washington D.C. in the 1880’s to obtain a civil war pension. Her father James A., had been in the Union Army during the Civil War and was injured when a shell exploded in his face. He was taken prisoner. He tried to escape and was shot again. When the war ended, he went back to his family in Nebraska. Disabled by war wounds, he earned a living by writing and selling songs and poems; and, he played music with a small crank box-type organ. When government pensions were offered to Union soldiers, James A. traveled with his young daughter Nellie by train to Washington DC to obtain his. She was nine or ten at the time. James found he was listed as a deserter because his status as a prisoner of war was never verified.  Pension denied, he played music and sang with Nellie at the train station to earn enough money to get back to their home in Nebraska. He tried until his death to straighten out the records but never succeed. James moved his family to Woods County, OK where they all did farm labor for local farmers. His wife died when Nellie was young. Nellie grew to be a very pretty Irish lass. She left school in the fifth grade to work to help support her family. She had several older brothers who worked the farms in the area too. One of Nellie’s jobs was to cook for the threshing crews in harvest season and keep house for her father and brothers. She met a skinny German man, named James K who worked at a nearby ranch. (He always emphasized to me that he was Prussian, not German.) James was twenty-two, Nellie was fourteen. James charmed her into leaving with him to start a new life. Late one night, they met in a peach orchard and fled the territory in his wagon. When their absence was discovered, Nellie’s brothers set out hot on their trail, not just because she was their sister but because she was their cook. The brothers chased them on horseback across Oklahoma into Kansas, then gave up. Nellie and James were married in 1888 in Hugoton Kansas and were together nearly 70 years until James’ death in 1956. They raised six children.

They were my great-grandparents and I remember them well. Great-grandpa had a big hooked nose and grew a fabulous garden that would feed an army. He rocked in his chair with grandkids on his lap. Smelled of tobacco chew and occasionally spit tobacco juice into the coffee can by his rocker. Great-grandma was the matriarch. She cooked meals for large family gatherings. She always had a fresh onion from the garden by her plate and ate it like an apple. Her hugs were magnanimous. She smelled like baking. Great-grandparents were fixtures in my life; old folks I saw for Sunday dinners, at birthday parties, and holidays. It never occurred to me they had a STORY beyond my knowing. I regret not having those conversations with them. I’m currently researching letters, family notes, photos, and history to piece together a narrative of their unique story.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Publication

Originally posted on A Way with Words blog

One of the most important elements in any relationship is the ability to laugh. What a dull tragedy life would be if we didn’t have humor as the mortar between bricks of sober reality. Humor has taken our writers’ group through times of inertia and disagreement. The three of us are blessed with the ability to find a ridiculous note when the symphony of writing rigor turns somber and Sibelius-ish. Maybe not all at the same time but whoever finds it first is quick to share it so that we all can take a fresh look to get back on track.

At one point in the editing process, we were so frustrated that we talked about futility and maybe our baby wouldn’t be birthed after all. A particular outside editing partner was giving us fits for several weeks. We were spinning our wheels trying to make sense of the snarls and tangles, the jumble of misdirection caused by the person we were relying on to help us to publication. Amazingly we were able to stay focused on our goal and keep each other’s spirits up with humor during that trying process. I don’t know how someone could go through those times as an author without the support of sympathetic compatriots.

Hemingway and Me

Originally published on A Way with Words blog

I have always enjoyed writing. My first novel, written when I was seven, was called The Girlfriends. It was a mystery printed on ten wide-lined pages in pencil. I cannot remember the plot details because, alas, it was lost sometime in the last seventy years. These things happen in life. I know how Hemingway felt when his first unpublished masterpiece was lost in 1922 by his wife on a train in Europe. Did I just compare myself to Hemingway? Yes. Not that our significance to literary posterity is similar but because we both are scribblers, people who love words and live in them. That’s what this blog and our book, Telling Lies and Sharing Secrets, is all about – sharing our enchantment with words and the worlds they conjure.

Being a lover of words I have, at hand, books about words and grammar. My new favorite is Dreyer’s English, An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style by Benjamin Dreyer. Does that sound boring? I dare you to read more than a few pages without chuckling and eventually belly-rocking. Toss away your Strunk and White. Dreyer’s book is vastly more entertaining and equally edifying. It is a laugh-out-loud book of passion for the English language. I do not exaggerate. I read passages to several friends, non-literary types, and elicited the same response. Who knew a comma or an apostrophe, not to mention a preposition, could be so much fun? Just as Mary Poppins sang, “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down in the most delightful way.”

Happy writing everyone. We hope you find your journey in writing is loaded with ah-ha moments you can share with a group of similarly minded friends, just as we have.

Growing Pains

Painting by Sally Rosenbaum

We went through a lot but we finally have a website! Yeah!! It can be reached at https://writerswrites.com. My co-authors, Sally and Jackie, and I will be posting weekly to continue our dialogue about writing and life in general. Please join us.

My Happiness Engineer

Originally posted on A Way with Words blog

high angle photo of robot
Happiness Engineer aka HE

We wrote a book Telling Tales and Sharing Secrets. Now we need to tell the world. I volunteered to create a website. It sounded so easy. Sometimes you just have to jump into the deep end. Fortunately, I found a lifeguard to guide me safely through the turbulence.

This is my Happiness Engineer, whom I will call HE. HE was introduced in my first plea for help and stayed with me through days of online chatting. An employee of WordPress, HE was assigned to assist in building our website. HE could be a human but HE’s total availability and knowledge, not to mention patience, seemed superhuman as I chatted with him/her/it on a regular basis to set up this site. We have entered the universe of gender neutrality. In case I may have a bias regarding the male or female sex, HE maintained a non-committal, non-binary facade. In my quest to build this website, HE was my go-to first thing each morning when my mind was clear (?) and I had three or four (more or less) hours of sleep. HE became the one I said good night to when my bleary eyes could no longer focus on the screen. HE is available 24/7. I tested it all hours of day and night and on holidays. HE was patient and calm when my webby world went wobbly. HE answered every question without fail. What HE didn’t do was perceive the depth of my ignorance and the reason for my questions. HE could not advise me about things I may not know I do not know. I’m sure many of my queries like, “what is an IOS, SEO or CSS?”, created titters among the other Happiness Engineers in the office. (Imagine a whole room of Happiness Engineers – Wow). My being a total novice about internet design, led us down some frustratingly blind alleys. It generated several complete template changes for our website, trying to find the perfect fit for our needs. The learning curve was steep.

I know I can get snippy when confronted with Everest-type obstacles to overcome. I occasionally suggested we have a glass of wine together to smooth out the craters in our relationship. HE responded gently with “It might do you good.” I pondered the idea of suggesting we move in together since, over the period of a few weeks, I spent more time with HE than with my dear husband. Again, that could lead to another universe of problems. How would my Happiness Engineer respond to being a co-respondent in a divorce proceeding?

I had a feeling every time my name appeared on the call list, there was a collective “oh no, her again” as they flipped a coin to decide who would respond to the nitwit. Not sure how the coin flipping thing would happen but I’m sure they have a Happiness way to do it. I totally believed my HE claimed me every time and I was not shunted from HE to HE. If I missed a day working on the project (for mental health reasons), I received an email asking if everything had been resolved. Ahhh, HE really cared. I began to wonder if I created unnecessary issues with the website just so I could keep chatting with HE. Did I go over to the dark side? But all is well. The website is successfully launched for better or worse. The book is about to be published. My husband still speaks to me. I want to commend HE for HE’s total commitment to helping me navigate the unknown world of tech to get our site live. Many thanks, Happiness Engineer!

And So It Begins

Originally posted on A Way with Words blog

This was my first post on our blog A Way with Words as we anticipated the publication of our book Telling Tales and Sharing Secrets.

Welcome to our blog and thank you for stopping by. This is our dialogue with readers as well as writers.

Stories are as old as humankind. We all have them, we live stories. The oral tradition of storytelling is essentially extinct in modern cultures. Since the advent of alphabets, people have chosen to preserve their tales in writing.  As a writers’ group, we support and encourage individual flights of fantasy, rockets of remembrance, and paeans of poetry, that lead us on voyages of discovery into ourselves and the world at large. We writers thrive on words. We gobble them up, we inhale them, we cherish and revere them. They are the building blocks of our understanding. As an equation is to a mathematician, a word is to a writer. All the scribblers of the world understand why writers write. It is not necessary to earn your living by penning symbols on a page to be a WRITER. A very select few can do that. The rest of us use the written word as a pilot through our past, a magnifying glass in our present, and a crystal ball into our futures. Notes jotted on napkins, letters to friends, journals, and diaries are all ways of preserving stories. Life is Story. Write on.

Our book Telling Tales and Sharing Secrets is a memoir of our writers’ group over two decades and a guide for other groups to learn, write and stay together. With this blog, we will continue our story. We invite you to share your comments and experiences with us.

Ten Years Later

Rutherford B 2012
Rutherford B 2022

I just looked back on this lame blog that was started ten years ago. It has been abysmally neglected in the intervening time. Ten years ago Steady Eddy (I named my family in my first blog post and will stick to those names to protect the innocent) and I were spending a good deal of time as caregivers for our grandson while his mom, our Athena, worked hard to support them. It was our pleasure, our delight, and our privilege. We had a world of fun watching him grow. He is a very bright, very charming person who, even at age three, taught us a lot. Now he is thirteen, on the brink of manhood, taller than his grandmother – but not yet his grandfather. He is still teaching – me about computers, the internet, and, other stuff I didn’t know I needed to know, instead of me teaching him reading and writing. Time doesn’t just fly, it rockets.

Release Date for Telling Tales and Sharing Secrets

Our book Telling Tales and Sharing Secrets will be released on September 6, 2022. It can be pre-ordered at Barnes and Noble in paperback or digital Nook format. The price is $18.99 for paperback and $7.49 for digital.

It is also available for pre-order through Amazon in paperback or Kindle format. The price is $18.99 for paperback and $7.49 for digital.

Our website A Way with Words – A Writers’ Group Blog will go live on July 25th. We will have updates on the writing and publishing process, life observations, and prompts for Writers’ Groups to use to build skills.

Our Book

Our Book – Telling Tales and Sharing Secrets

We finally have the galley print of our book retitled Telling Tales and Sharing Secrets. Sally, Jackie, and I have worked very hard over several years to bring this project to fruition. We three are rereading the book for the umpteenth time. It is a different experience to read it as a book than as a manuscript you imagine as a book. Of course, I see lots of things I would change but it is too late in the process and, for the most part, it looks good. I don’t think a writer ever finishes a piece of writing because word choices and phrases keep popping up in your head even after you have put the piece “to bed.” At some point, you just have to let go and say done.

I am so very grateful for the support we received from the writing community who agreed to read the manuscript and contribute a thumbs up compliments in writing for our book. That includes Meg Files, Sheila Bender, Rita Magdaleno, Janice Eidus, Nancy Turner, and Dina Greenberg who took time from busy schedules to read 310 pages and comment. All three of us were awed by their willingness and responses.

I am even more grateful for the friendship and diligence of my co-authors. We had a few disagreements along the way but for the most part, we were on the same page when issues arose. Each disagreement was confronted directly over multiple zoom calls and amicably resolved to everyone’s satisfaction. The absolute trust we have with each other has been forged over more than two decades. Even after Jackie moved to Colorado we were able to keep our writers’ group alive and well thanks to internet connections, some reunion trips, and the commitment we share.

We also give kudos to our spouses who supported us in this project. They encouraged us and reserved space for us to be focused on our project without complaint. Thank you Allen Showalter, Danny Collins, and most of all Ken Kinared.

The publication date is sometime in the future, probably fall 2022, and we still have to meet with the marketing coordinator at Atmosphere Press. I am working on a website we will use to shout out our news. We will all three blog on that website to maintain awareness and hopefully generate sales of the book.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Today we celebrate the man Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., an inspiration to our nation and the world. He came up from the heart of the south, Atlanta, Georgia, to become an international symbol of civil rights done the non-violent way much like his contemporary Nelson Mandela in South Africa. Mandela was jailed for nearly thirty years during the 60s-80s but became President of South Africa when his efforts from jail realized a momentous shift in the political climate of his country. Unfortunately, the non-violent pleas from Dr. King were largely ignored. Violence reigned and Dr. King was assassinated in 1968 so his life was not played out to its fullest. But his legacy is lasting and potent. President Ronald Reagan officially made the third Monday in January, a day to honor the strength and commitment of Dr. King to the objectives of civil rights and harmony for all people.

Dr. King said: “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a country where they will NOT be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character”. Why are leaders being chosen now by their skin color or gender instead of their character and credentials? They may have both character and credentials but they are being promoted by attributes they were given at birth instead of attributes they developed over their lifetime and career.

I lived during the turbulent, violent decade of the 60s when assassination of our best and brightest happened too often. It was a time of “revolution” when the country was divided and hate held the country hostage. I’m seeing so much of the same attitudes prevailing today. Reasons for revolution may differ today, but they are only symptoms of the dis-ease of division. It saddens me that, as a country, we cannot see that we have more in common than we have to divide us. We allow leaders, political and otherwise, to foment division for their own political or economic benefit. Does humanity never learn from our tragic history? President Lincoln, a hero to most people now, was reviled by half of the citizenry in the 1860’s and assassinated by that hate. Are we doomed to repeat those awful decades?

Or IS the learning being done by those who find a way to harness dissension for their own aims? The rest of us are pawns in their machinations.

If words would heal then let Dr. King’s words prevail. “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend”.

I don’t pretend to have any answers, just more questions.