In December 2008, our grandson, Henry, was born. The light of our life, a joy, a gift. I wholeheartedly love my children and there is something so special about a grandchild. As he grew, I started writing little notes for him in one of my journals. In 2010 I consolidated a few of them in a document on my computer intending to continue collecting my “bumper stickers” as he grew and developed. I shared my thoughts with him along the way when events warranted a little grandmotherly advice. Now on the threshold of manhood and taller than his Grandpa, I decided it would be a good time to deliver these ideas in written form. I chose to write them all in a card/booklet for his 16th birthday. He loves cards – even more than gifts.

Things to know to grow to be an honorable man 

Advice to Henry Cooper (age 16 months), March 2010 

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well… To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Grandma says:

Pay attention to your Mother. Love her and honor her. She created her world around you. Respect the person she is, the place she made for you, and all she has shared with you. She loves you most.

Respect your Grandpa, love him, and learn from him; especially how to play baseball because he was a pro, you know, and golf because it is his passion, and he will love you even more if you can beat him at it.  Don’t follow too closely his advice on horseracing.  Remember Life Lessons from Grandpa. They will serve you well.

Love your Grandma, because she loves you with all her heart. Put your sweet arms around her and give her butterfly kisses whenever you see her – even after you have grown whiskers, for she will always remember the smooth cheeks of your babyhood. Read her a poem.

If indeed bad things happen and they will, my boy, remember that life is best lived going uphill, scrambling over the rocky humps because when you attain a summit you will have such a beautiful vista and so many great stories to tell, AND there is always another summit to reach for.

Laughter and humor are as essential as air. Laugh with your heart and your belly. Look for the fun in everything, even broccoli. 

Live with your heart open. Fall in love. You are meant to love and be loved. Be deeply, passionately, and lustfully in love. Love gives you the greatest highs.

Gratitude. Be thankful every day for the blessings you have. Don’t compare to anyone else. Be grateful to God and all who are in your life daily. 

Welcome God into your life every day. HE is the reason you are here, and HE will guide you to your best destiny.  Bathe in faith. Talk with God. Put HIM on speed dial. HE ALWAYS listens. HIS answers may be unexpected. HE sometimes says no… like when I ask to win the lottery.

Be of service daily. Even if only holding a door open for someone or offering a smile to someone who looks unhappy. There are so many, many ways to serve and it will add to your happiness as well as to the one you help. Service has a ripple effect.

Make choices with intention. Own your choices.  Inaction is also a choice and, if you don’t choose, you leave it for others to make decisions for your life and you might not like the results. Ask advice, consider options, and then choose your own path.

Listen, learn, and don’t follow the crowd if it is heading off a cliff. Listen to your gut.

Make music a part of each day. Music connects to your spirit, it heals, it moves you, it lifts you.

Never hate.  Hatred corrodes the container that holds it.

Make mistakes, fall down, skin your knees. Perfection doesn’t happen. You will learn best from failure how to be a success. Pain is inevitable and is a great teacher.  Your success is up to you. The harder you work, the stronger you become. The road of life is always under construction.

Hold Happy. Happiness is a choice. It comes from the inside not from anything outside.

Release Anger. Anger hurts you more than your intended target.

Practice Forgiveness. Forgiveness allows you to move on in life without the burden of hate and anger.

Confront fear. Take Chances. Fear and its brother Worry rob you of today, physically, mentally, and emotionally. With Fear and Worry you replace “What’s happening” in the present by borrowing “what might happen” from the future. STAY PRESENT.

Have Faith. Faith is knowing you can meet whatever comes your way with confidence because you have the internal resources to surmount adversity. At the very least you will gain wisdom from navigating through the experience. Overcome adversity and you will be stronger on the other side. YOU have the power.

Be a gentleman. A man’s manners are his portrait. Character is worth more than gold. Your style is your passport in human interaction. You are a male by birth, be a gentleman by choice.

Develop a will of iron and retain your soft heart.

Apologize when you are wrong.  Honor Truth.

Eschew jealousy. It is a poison that generates evil thoughts and deeds.

Don’t complain. Complaining makes you stuck. You are master of your life. Choose a positive attitude toward people and events and move on.

Live your highest dream. Don’t let fear detour you. You will conquer anything when you make it your goal.

Listen. Close your mouth, open your ears. You learn more when you listen.

Be Curious. Learning is a life-long process. Embrace it. Read, read, read. You will NEVER ever know everything. Learn to cook, build, sew – be self-sustaining. Curiosity is the root of all success.

Always put the toilet seat down!

Remember the ONLY constant is CHANGE

Write daily. It clears your thoughts and finds truths. You are the author of your life. Create your own story. Always use spell-check…but making up words is fun too.

Remember Elvis is King!

Be Present.  Life is abundance. Embrace it and you will want for nothing. Whatever you go through in life, there will always be another door you can open.

No drugs. Be responsible. Drive safely.

Don’t judge and don’t worry about others judging you. Be authentic. In a world full of trends, be a classic, be timeless.

Be Patient. But don’t make patience an excuse for inaction.

You are given only one body to take you through decades. Treat it with respect. Listen to what it tells you. Nourish it. Exercise it. Keep it in good order and it won’t let you down.

Boredom is the sign of a lazy mind. Color each day brightly. Your days are numbered, and you will never know what that number is.  Make them count.  Life is not a dress rehearsal, live it moment by moment. 

Don’t be a bystander. Life is an interactive game best played full throttle. Be uniquely you. 

Look for angels. They appear in many guises. They are everywhere and will help you when you are in need. Sometimes in surprising ways. 

Make friends and keep friends. True friends are the bulwarks that keep the waves of adversity from overwhelming your ship of life. Friends are the memories you will treasure when you are old and the source of great stories.

Find ways to be kind to someone every day. Simple kindness sends ripples of happiness from you to someone who sends it along to someone else, and on and on. Kindness is the true path to peace. 

Delivered to Henry Cooper on his 16^th birthday: December 1, 2024