There is an ancient East Asian mythology about love and destiny. It is believed that a lunar god ties an invisible red string around the ankles or little fingers of two people who are predestined to be lovers. The string may stretch or tangle, but will never break because their soul connection has been foretold by the god. Despite challenges and distance, the string will pull these two people together at some point in their lives for a deeply rooted relationship as soulmates. Different versions of this story can be found in Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, and Japanese cultures.
I know of four stories that can confirm this kind of soul connection that connects lovers even after time and distance separate them.
I recently read a book by Delia Ephron called Left on Tenth. It is a memoir of her life after seventy. Delia was the second of four sisters, all of whom are writers. Her eldest sister Nora is famous for writing Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Silkwood, and others. Delia worked with Nora on projects as well as writing, directing, and producing on her own.
In this book, Delia describes the heartbreak and trauma of losing her older sister to leukemia and her husband of over thirty years to prostate cancer, all within a year. She writes about her own pre-leukemia diagnosis, a Damocles sword held over her head. Her story tells of reconnecting with an old acquaintance, Peter. He read one of her New York Times op-eds and contacted her. They had been introduced by Nora and dated when they were very young. Delia didn’t remember him or their dates. They corresponded by mail and phone calls. Then Peter flew from California to New York to meet her. They fell instantly in love. Love after seventy. Her story continues through the ups and downs of their courtship and marriage amid her health issues. Her story is sad, scary, funny, upbeat and honest.
Delia’s book made me think of other latter-year romances I’ve known about.
My aunt Nina, her two brothers, and two sisters attended a country school in Sumner County, Kansas in the 1920s. She was the second of five kids. My father was her big brother. A petite, vibrant redhead, she had her sights on a music career. She wanted to move away from the small-town farming community. She had a marvelous soprano voice and performed in a variety of opera and musical comedy theatrical productions throughout her college years. She didn’t want to be a farmer’s wife.
As fate would have it, she fell passionately in love with a handsome farmer, Lee, who looked a lot like Clark Gable. She ended up living in the rural community she sought to escape. They raised their three boys on a farm, in very modest circumstances. At times, they had no electricity in their house. At one time, she had a pump at the kitchen sink and an outhouse, instead of indoor plumbing – not how she dreamed her life would be. She continued her love of music by giving voice and piano lessons and singing in her church choir. She got an LPN degree and worked as a neonatal hospital nurse for years after her family was raised.
Nina was widowed after fifty-two years of marriage. One of her schoolmates, my father’s childhood friend, Mervin, was at Lee’s funeral. Mervin and my dad kept in contact throughout the years after school. Both Dad and Mervin were in World War II, then attended college, got married with children, and went on to separate careers. Our families lived a few blocks from each other. I went to elementary school with his two daughters.
According to family lore passed on by my father, Mervin had a crush on Nina most of their time in school. Mervin was a widower, having lost his wife a few years before. He asked Nina to join him at his sister’s house for dinner, a safe date. His sister, Margaret, and Nina had been friends at school, too. He continued to woo her after their dinner date. She succumbed to his attentions. Within a few months, realizing they had a short future to enjoy, they were married. She was 76 and he was 80. Mervin was a successful businessman and had a large, beautiful home in the big city of Wichita. Nina was finally taken out of her small town, relatively modest life, to a much more comfortable future. They enjoyed their time together until Mervin’s death, two years later. Mervin made sure she was secure with an easy life until her death at ninety-two.
The third love affair I know of is that of my friend, I’ll call Rita. She is seventy. She divorced thirty or so years ago, worked in advertising and real estate, and raised her son as a single parent. She moved to Arizona but kept in contact with friends from her hometown in Indiana. Many of them she has known since grade school.
Over a year ago, she was contacted by Tom. They were in fifth grade together. He never forgot her and found a way to contact her after over fifty years. For months they spoke by phone and texted as they became reacquainted. Their phone calls soon lasted for hours. He flew to Arizona to meet in person and stayed with her for a week. They fell in love. Rita has had several health challenges over the last year, and Tom supported her here and at a distance when he couldn’t be here. Once they traveled by car to California so she could meet his daughter. He pushed her wheelchair on their adventures in Southern California. His devotion is inspirational. They phone and text daily, sometimes hourly, and are now talking marriage.
Another friend of mine recently told me her story about reconnecting with someone from her past and finding love again. Laura was a divorcee living in Colorado. Her children were grown. She attended a family reunion in California. An old family friend, Frank was also there. Frank and Laura had known each other since high school because he was her brother’s best friend. After school, both had married, and Laura’s family moved to Colorado. Although they lived in different states, they saw each other occasionally over the years at family events in California. Laura knew Frank’s wife and kids, and he knew her family. Her kids called him Uncle Frank because he was always invited to big family gatherings. At the reunion, Frank told Laura he had divorced after his kids grew up and left home, and he was single again. He asked her if she would like to go out to dinner. They did, and within a couple of hours, realized they had a connection beyond old friendship. They courted long distance between California and Colorado and were married within a year. They now enjoy their life together in Arizona. Her kids were surprised. “You’re going to marry Uncle Frank?” Her brother was taken aback too. “But Frank has been our friend for decades. What’s going on?”
And so it goes. It is never too late to meet your destiny.
wonkagranny 