Death Nudged Me Today

To Gerry 5/4/45 to 4/10/19

This poem was written six years ago after the death of a dear childhood friend. Years accumulated without contact between us. In her final months, she reached out to me, a tender reminder of the bond we formed over sixty years before as twelve-year-old girls. Our families both relocated to Bellevue, Washington the summer before our 7th grade year at school; hers from Oregon, mine from Kansas. We were the newbies so naturally clung to each other as we learned how to navigate a new school and integrate into a new community of teens. She will always be a happy memory. Today is her birthday – Happy Birthday, Gerry.

Death nudged me today.

Just to say, Remember

I will be your escort one day.

She was a friend of childhood,

A bosom buddy in a mutable time.

We were close, two coats of paint.

Teen dances at the gym

Girlhood angst

Secrets whispered and shared

A rambunctious orb of energy

Her infectious laugh

Reached the corners of my preteen world

She, the adventurer

I, the eager sidekick

Exploring adolescence together

A blueberry summer, picking for money

Her buckets overflowed, mine barely topped

She reaped a summer salary, I lasted two days

Blessed with natural athleticism,

She excelled in gymnastic maneuvers.

My feet refused to leave the ground.

An enthusiastic cheerleader, she leaped

My leaps fell short, I tried

My place in the bleachers assured

By high school, our paths diverged

Friendship, a shadow

Not gone, just faded

Our last summer together after school

She led the way, I followed

Clerks at an insurance agency

She married, I married

She had a baby, I had a baby

Then two, and one extra for me

Ambitious and motivated

She had her own business.

I focused on three children.

Our contact was sparse

Never completely closing the gap

To reclaim friendship

She moved, I moved

She divorced, I didn’t

The contours of our lives unaligned

She moved to the desert, Las Vegas

I moved to the desert, Tucson

No contact for decades.

She reached out

A year ago, email

Stage 4 cancer was the verdict.

I sent prayers, encouragement,

Cards and emails for months.

She died.

The phantom of our friendship

Rests in my heart.

I see her smile, her laugh an echo.

It will be my turn someday

To dance with death.

Again, she led the way.

Old Mesquite

Originally posted on A Way with Words blog

Outside my library window       

Nascent bright green leaves, softly wave.

An elaborate contrast against

The rugged black bark of old Mesquite

Whose arms stretch out to embrace Spring

In long feathery finery.

Rising in the near distance against

The perfect blue sky

Behind old Mesquite

Pusch Ridge presents itself.

It will disappear in a few weeks as

Mesquite becomes denser,

A screen and shade against the

Slowly increasing heat

of Summer sun.

Dwarf Chaste Tree,

Little sister to old Mesquite,

Sits under his protective arms

Shyly showing her tightly leafed buds

In tiny clumps,

Inviting Spring’s release.

Transformative Power of Poetry

Originally published on A Way with Words Blog

I recently read “Ten Windows: How Great Poems Transform the World by Jane Hirshfield. It is a dense study of how written expression moves the human soul during times of strife and turmoil and the virtually muscular articulation of happiness. W.H. Auden wrote that “Poetry makes nothing happen”. However, poetry has the power to soothe or enlighten people. Jane says, “In the simplest act of recognizing the imaginative, metaphoric, or narrative expression of another, you find yourself less lonely, more accompanied in this life.”

I often turn to poetry when I’m troubled; when the outside world is not making sense to my interior world. I write, painting emotions in visual terms. Recently in a journal I wrote, “a sepia smear slides through the doctor’s words as the verdict is rendered”. It gives a deeper meaning for me than simply recording a sad but expected diagnosis.

It can be said as well that joy expressed in poetic terms layers an event with a calculus beyond the dictionary rendition of words.  My feelings when I witnessed the birth of my grandson could not be contained in words like joy or elation. “His first breath coursed through me, the first breath of new life, evergreen hope, a rainbow of possibilities exploded my lungs. Tears sprang unheeded in rivulets of gratitude”, I wrote.

One example Jane uses in the book is a poem by Czeslaw Milosz, a Nobel Prize winning Polish-American poet of the twentieth century. He expresses the transitory nature of life in this short poem. A simple memory stirs a wider wonder. Who are we and where are we going?

Encounter

We were riding through frozen fields in a wagon at dawn.

A red wing rose in the darkness.

And suddenly a hare ran across the road.

One of us pointed to it with his hand.

That was long ago. Today neither of them is alive.

Not the hare, nor the man who made the gesture.

O my love, where are they, where are they going,

The flash of a hand, streak of movement, rustle of pebble.

I ask, not out of sorrow, but in wonder.

Czeslaw Milosz

Being able to use words to convey the deepest sense of who I am is my joy.