Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

A Thanksgiving to Remember

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Happy Thanksgiving to All! This has always been my favorite holiday – all about food, friends, and family. A time to be with those we love with no obligation for gift-giving. Once upon a time our family had a very memorable Thanksgiving – not in the usual way.

The Thanksgiving tradition in our family developed over a number of years. As young marrieds, my husband’s two sisters, their husbands and the two of us went to his parents’ home for Thanksgiving. His single brother came along with the girlfriend of the month. None of us had the room or wherewithal to deal with a crowd for the holiday. We all lived in and around the greater Seattle area.

When children were born to each household, we found it easier to have the feast at one of two houses, ours and Ken’s sister Arlene’s. At one point our two families lived only a block from each other. We had large homes and each had three children of similar ages. The kids attended the same schools. Ken’s dad suffered with medical problems and his mom was getting older, so it was harder for her to prepare a big meal, even with help. We divided up the holidays. One year Ken and I would host Thanksgiving and Arlene and Charles hosted Christmas. The next year we switched. That went on for most of the years our children were small through their teens.

The last year for our big family gathering was the most memorable. Arlene and Charles had moved to a home on a few acres at Offut Lake, south of Seattle. Ken and I moved even further south to Arizona. All our children were adults living in the Seattle area. Ken’s parents had passed away. Charles’ mother, Maude, lived in her own little trailer home on their property so they could care for her as her health declined. A few days before this particular Thanksgiving, we were told she had been moved into the house because she needed twenty-four-hour attention. We expected to spend time with Maude during the day.

We flew to Seattle from Tucson and drove out to the lake. Upon arrival, our arms loaded with gifts and treats for the family, we were greeted on the front porch by Charles with, “Happy Thanksgiving. We’re glad you could make it. Come on in. Mom just died. She’s lying in her room. You can visit with her if you like. We’ve called the coroner.”

Shocking, to say the least. We had no cell phones at that time, so could not receive a heads-up that she was near the end. Momentary confusion rattled us. Should we postpone Thanksgiving dinner? The family no longer all lived in close proximity and everyone traveled a distance to be together. Was it proper to have a celebration with a deceased loved one in the bedroom? Not a common question at Thanksgiving. The whole family was gathered, and we took in the reality each in our own way. There were no tears, just a collection of faces in varying degrees of disbelief. Now wasn’t that just like Maude. She certainly grabbed the center of interest for this family event. We finished preparing the meal reminiscing about past Thanksgivings. Laughter and memories of Maude were shared. We took time, individually, to go to her room and wish her Godspeed toward Heaven.

Dinner was served. We sat down to the feast, Charles said a prayer of Thanksgiving, and we enjoyed the traditional assortment of foods as in past years. Death was an unexpected specter at our table. Just as we finished, a knock came on the door. The coroner with two assistants arrived between dinner and dessert, as if scripted. Maude’s body was removed and we continued our meal with pies and cakes. It was odd but felt completely appropriate and comforting for everyone to be together.

In later years as our family spread out to various states, we gathered friends together who also had far-flung relatives and created a friend/family to celebrate Thanksgiving. It is still my favorite holiday. Has your family or friend/family had an unusual Thanksgiving? I’d love to hear about them.

Autumn – a seasonal complaint

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I am the ONLY person I know who does not sing the praises of Autumn. All my friends look forward to the cessation of our desert heat when the humidity drops to single digits. They express endless gratitude for the crisp cool air and colors of fall. Me – not so much. Each season does have good points, but for me the darkening of days, the cooling air, the descent into winter does not herald a positive trend.

Along with this is the churning of time. I don’t mean the minutes that ebb from my life, a steady drip into the bucket of forever. I’m talking about the changing of clocks. One reason I love Arizona is that this state did not get sucked into the folly of daylight “savings” time. Our clocks remain the same through all the months of the year. However, because everyone else in the U.S. changes time, I must remember which time zone they have switched to. Annoying. I’m sure someone sometime had a savvy presentation with charts and graphs to justify the idea. But as a wise old Native American was once credited with saying: “Only a white man would cut two inches off the bottom of his blanket and sew it to the top and think the blanket is longer”. That sums up the ridiculousness of daylight-saving time. What are we saving? Which bank is it in? Can we spend it when we really need it? Daylight is one of nature’s gifts and follows the tilt of the sun and earth according to seasons, not a man-made device. No matter how you slice it we have the same amount of daylight. It is shorter in the winter in the northern hemisphere and longer in the summer, but the number of hours can’t be expanded by moving the hands of a clock.

I am a warm-weather sunshine person. My husband agreed to move to Tucson so I could warm up after living forty years in the Pacific Northwest in a constant state of chill and I don’t mean the trendy kind. We’ve lived here twenty-seven years so I’m beginning to thaw. However, when temperatures dip below 80°, I put on long underwear. No kidding, even in Tucson – you can ask my husband. I get frosty to the bone very easily. No, it is not a medical condition, it is a mental condition. Thankfully the sun shines here most of the time in all seasons thus providing us, the cold-blooded creatures, with a modicum of warmth during each day. Darkness does not overtake us as it did in Seattle.

In the Pacific Northwest, fall and winter are not only colder and wetter than summer, they are also darker. Daylight is barely nine hours. We got up in the dark and came home from work in the dark. Dull skies muffled in blankets of gray clouds during what was said to be daylight hours did not allow a smidge of sun to peek through. Sunshine was as rare as a Corbin Carroll home run in the 2023 World Series. Depression – your name is Seattle winter.  

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday so that is the plus for Autumn.  In Tucson, we serve our big Thanksgiving meal about 4:00 on the patio. We usually have twelve or more family and friends join us. The doors stay open and people go in and out. Turkey is cooked on the barbeque and all the trimmings are set out on the counter so the hungry can help themselves. They choose to sit inside in the dining room or out on the patio tables. Most often outside is favored. After dinner (when the sun retires leaving a beautiful sunset) we put on a sweater or light jacket to sit outside with a glass of wine and good conversation and watch the stars blink on. We build a fire in the chimenea for atmosphere. It is a beautiful celebration with friends. The weather doesn’t cooperate one out of four years. Then we serve dinner inside just like those unfortunate people who don’t live in the Sonoran Desert.